I murdered the dance floor call the cops
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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