we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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