So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
