Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
