I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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