Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
