so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
