just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Randomize
