Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
