This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
