When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I bet he comes in French.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
