Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
