and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
