we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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