She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
