I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
