I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
