Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
