dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
