Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
