Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize