LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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