Can Purell be used as lube?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
