I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
