When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
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I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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