So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
