we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
