4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
