plz talk dirty to me
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
