'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
