I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
