areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i now understand why vodka
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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