I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize