My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
