you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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