So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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