Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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