She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
