apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
