You made me cry and you don't even care
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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