I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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