Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
