it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
