can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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