I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
