i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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