i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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