its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
