just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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