I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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