I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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