I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
