ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just invented taco cereal.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
