i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
