Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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