Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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