I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
