Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Welp...herpes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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