you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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