Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I enjoy the company of your penis
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
