sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
