I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
