Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
