Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
