i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize