For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
