The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
